Two more days and I will be a month old in Pune and two more days and I will be a month old in this company too. In this one month, I have worked for the company as much as Mallika Sherawat did in “Myth” and a little more than what Lara Dutta had in “Fanaa”! So that way, I have contributed as much as Mohammad kaif had contributed in his last 4 innings for India.
In the last one month, I became familier with the term called “bench”. For the non-IT guys (Like I was till a month back), it is a harmless piece of wooden furniture languishing in all government schools and offices. But for the IT guys, it has a different meaning altogether. For “kuch karke dikhana hai” type of employees, bench is far more dreaded than asking them to drive in death well while for the laid back kinda guys, it’s an official status accorded to them and they are blessed to get the salary for surfing, chatting and spending plenty of time in food-court ogling at the girls of all dimensions discussing their lipstick color and the size of heel!
And in such a privileged period, I had a change to have a glance at the monitors of others and here are the exclusive results of the study (I thought of giving these ‘exclusive’ results to Aaj Tak or Channel 7 then dropped the idea because they might run the news with captions like “IT companies ka pardafaash” or more innovative “Nanga sach IT ka”)
On the monitors of 20% of the guys, you can see the homepage of intranet all the time. It seems it’s the only URL their explorer permits. They are so glued to that homepage as if it is hosting the revealing pics of the latest bombshell in the campus!
Then there guys who are busy shooting mails to all the females they know within the campus with the hope that someday he will get a chance to have a coffee with one of the ladies all alone and not with the group of other 10 guys. Then there are other fellows busy chatting on the internal messenger to the guys and gals who are sitting at a stones throw from their desk. These constitute another 20%.
15% are hooked to their cell phones or the landlines. If they are just holding the phone and not saying a word, wife is there on the other side. If there is complete silence from both the parties on either side of the telephone and if the parties have a ‘Julia Roberts’ smile on their face, they are the lovers and if they are shouting their heart out you can guess that either someone is trying to sell a credit card or trying to stuff some loan!
10% don’t have any idea what to do while sitting on their desk in front of their computers. They try to click on all possible pixels a screen has to offer with a deadpan look.
5% don’t know what’s their role in the project.
5% don’t know why they are in the company
5% don’t know why they exist on this planet.
Above three varieties constitute a total of 15%. They spend their time doing pee, sipping tea and taking photocopies of articles such as ‘speaking tree’ and ‘teachings of Osho’.
Rest is 20%. These are those morons who can breathe but their souls are dead. They work with a “Tsunami swept away my home yesterday” look. They earn for themselves, for the company and for the rest 80%.
I am yet to figure out where do I fit in this company!!!
In the last one month, I became familier with the term called “bench”. For the non-IT guys (Like I was till a month back), it is a harmless piece of wooden furniture languishing in all government schools and offices. But for the IT guys, it has a different meaning altogether. For “kuch karke dikhana hai” type of employees, bench is far more dreaded than asking them to drive in death well while for the laid back kinda guys, it’s an official status accorded to them and they are blessed to get the salary for surfing, chatting and spending plenty of time in food-court ogling at the girls of all dimensions discussing their lipstick color and the size of heel!
And in such a privileged period, I had a change to have a glance at the monitors of others and here are the exclusive results of the study (I thought of giving these ‘exclusive’ results to Aaj Tak or Channel 7 then dropped the idea because they might run the news with captions like “IT companies ka pardafaash” or more innovative “Nanga sach IT ka”)
On the monitors of 20% of the guys, you can see the homepage of intranet all the time. It seems it’s the only URL their explorer permits. They are so glued to that homepage as if it is hosting the revealing pics of the latest bombshell in the campus!
Then there guys who are busy shooting mails to all the females they know within the campus with the hope that someday he will get a chance to have a coffee with one of the ladies all alone and not with the group of other 10 guys. Then there are other fellows busy chatting on the internal messenger to the guys and gals who are sitting at a stones throw from their desk. These constitute another 20%.
15% are hooked to their cell phones or the landlines. If they are just holding the phone and not saying a word, wife is there on the other side. If there is complete silence from both the parties on either side of the telephone and if the parties have a ‘Julia Roberts’ smile on their face, they are the lovers and if they are shouting their heart out you can guess that either someone is trying to sell a credit card or trying to stuff some loan!
10% don’t have any idea what to do while sitting on their desk in front of their computers. They try to click on all possible pixels a screen has to offer with a deadpan look.
5% don’t know what’s their role in the project.
5% don’t know why they are in the company
5% don’t know why they exist on this planet.
Above three varieties constitute a total of 15%. They spend their time doing pee, sipping tea and taking photocopies of articles such as ‘speaking tree’ and ‘teachings of Osho’.
Rest is 20%. These are those morons who can breathe but their souls are dead. They work with a “Tsunami swept away my home yesterday” look. They earn for themselves, for the company and for the rest 80%.
I am yet to figure out where do I fit in this company!!!
